Advanced Hemorrhoid Specialists: A full decade of butt jokes

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Here’s to treating “the niche with an itch” for the next 10 years. Bottoms up!

By Dr. David Gutman, Advanced Hemorrhoid Specialists

“Hey, doc,” said my last new patient of the day. “Let me tell you, my hemorrhoids are a real pain in the butt.”

“Ha, good one,” I laughed...for the sixth time that day.

Having just celebrated our 10th anniversary as “the hemorrhoid place” in Northeast Ohio, I have seen and heard them all, from messages written in ink on the posterior canvas—“Caution! Work area!”—to patients affectionately naming their needless nuisances “Larry, Moe and Curly.”

I assure you, the humor in my profession knows no bounds.

I remember the early days when we first opened our back doors. After scoping out locations and hiring staff to assist me, we were "rearing" to go.

The first day I had only one patient; talk about starting at the bottom. But those days are behind me now, as I have worked my way up over the years and can now claim credit to having performed over 27,000 procedures.

Certainly there were growing pains in establishing a private practice in the 21st century, but I kept a positive outlook, analyzed and cor-rected any problems, and soon the practice was looking up.

In hindsight, I believe it was my deep, burning desire to genuinely help people feel better quickly and easily without surgery that has fueled my success.

In case you have been putting off treatment, let me invite you to give us a call. Our procedures take only seconds to perform and no anesthesia is required. There is virtually no pain, no prep needed, no major restrictions, and you don’t have to take time off of work.

As always, our consultations are free of charge and our procedures are covered by insurance.

Here’s to treating “the niche with an itch” for the next 10 years. Bottoms up!

To reach Dr. David Gutman of Advanced Hemorrhoid Specialists, call 216-772-4653. He has two office locations: 25200 Chagrin Blvd, Suite 109, in Beachwood; and 2660 W. Market Street, Suite 250, in Fairlawn. To learn more and read patient testimonials, visit